Author Archives
Loves the Chiefs, tuna, and cool words like, "SH-POW".
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My Critique of Insane Internet Pictures
I’ve decided to come up with a formula (verb – noun – noun) and type it into search engines. I will take the most interesting photo from the fist page and analyze it…you know, like an art lover but with the… Read More ›
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Five Of The Greatest Movies Found In The $5 Bin
There is no need for television programs with the amount of movies out there. But with blue-ray and new dvd prices, it’s borderline ridiculous to buy movies now that you can rent them for a buck through any box outside… Read More ›
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Top 5 Reasons Bigfoot Doesn’t Exist
Everybody likes to believe in something – Wishes, fate, happy endings (of both the storybook and shady massage nature) and even Bigfoot. It’s nice hope that something is real. Don’t get me wrong, I love believing in Bigfoot as much as the… Read More ›
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The Finer Points And Tips For The Triangle Choke (Sankaku Jime)
The triangle is one of those chokes in Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that everyone loves…unless you’re caught in it and you try desperately to “answer the phone” before taking an ill-planned nap. There are many reasons to love the… Read More ›
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Top 5 People That Have Made Other People Shit Their Pants
….Okay…It can’t be verified whether or not someone really shat their pants unless you’re standing next to them. Let’s be honest though, people shit their pants when A) You witness something unreal or B) You know you’re about to be in for… Read More ›
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Your Instructor Knows You Have To Lose
If you’ve ever heard the term “quicksand”, used in competition, you know what I’m talking about…you lose once, no big deal. Lose again, you think it’s just a bad couple of months…lose again…uh-oh…something is wrong…then you think instead of react… Read More ›
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5 Ridiculously Insane NFL Jukes That Time Forgot
I love football. I also love big hits. I also love that moment that a defensive back commits to the hit and misses his target completely, just like your darts when you get too drunk to play a nice game… Read More ›
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Top 5 Nintendo Games That Changed My Life (and YOURS)
My brothers and I saved for months when Nintendo first came on the scene. I was 11 years old. We all skimmed at lunch at school and would come home then throw all of our money into styrofoam cups on… Read More ›
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My Favorite Choke: The Okuri-Eri-Jime (Bow and Arrow to you Jiu Jitsu cats)
Ok, so check this out, compliments of The Human Weapon: This is the Okuri-Eri-Jime. It’s my favorite choke. Note the grey guy with his left leg over the other grey guy’s waist. Also note the expression on the grey guy’s face. … Read More ›
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Top 5 Tales of Survival Too Insane For You To Pull Off
There’s “surviving”, then there’s “SUURVIVINNNG”. I’ve survived many things in my life, but it tops out at the time I was 14 and had a cavity for a week. That shit sucked. However, I will gladly take a slap in… Read More ›
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I Know Everything About You (The 5 Handshakes That Give It Away)
The dumbest thing you can do in war is give yourself away. Give away your position, your intentions, your gun (duh)…you’re done. It’s war, man. So why on Earth would you give something away about yourself without the need to?… Read More ›
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Jiu Jitsu Purple Belt Progressive Guard (Pass)
Ok, time is getting closer to my test…here is a demonstration of the Sylvio Behring Progressive guard system…or as they say in Swahili, “Some badass shit.” (Props to John Valentine, Don Newman and me (halfway through)). Ok ok, I jumped… Read More ›
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Uchi Mata Tips (Mistakes I Make)
Yesterday I took 2nd in the Utah State Judo Championships. I didn’t take first for one reason; I didn’t commit to my uchi-mata. Let me explain. I took up Judo/Jiu-Jitsu nearly 3 years ago and finally have a wall nearing… Read More ›
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My Sun Crawls
My Sun Crawls The lights from our makeshift runway were pieces of shit, pure and simple, and by “runway” I mean a rare piece of paved road in northern Pakistan that itself was barely above the quality of tightly packed… Read More ›
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Things Break, Suck It Up
In the last two years and some change, here is a list of injuries that I’ve suffered during Judo randori and BJJ tournaments and rolling: Torn trapezius Fractured rib Torqued (sprained) neck x 2 (yes, my guillotine defense needs work)… Read More ›
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What it’s like to be choked (The Unlaxed Garrote)
I The Unlaxed Garrote A general rule we live by is that of the 100% of people that come in, 10% come back. 10% of those that come back stay, and 10% of those that stay… Read More ›
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D.B. Cooper, El Dorado, and Flight 19 SOLVED!
Disentangled I figure since my life is now mostly composed of figuring out how women’s minds work, I might as well solve these nagging mysteries and free up some processing space. Few things mesmerize me. Bigfoot captured… Read More ›
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DODGE BALL
Balls of Dodgery Growing up in the 80’s there were two choices for radio: Phil Collins or Genesis. Unfortunately, both of those involved Phil Collins. Television for me was Fraggle Rock at 5 p.m. and G.I. Joe at 5:30. Other… Read More ›
Bunch of Manly Stuff 