Kids say the darndest things.  They can also give you a very hard time in the event you ever want some legitimate information from them.  Knowing this, I asked my 7-year old son questions about life and I DEMANDED knowledgeable answers…I guess you could say I got them – here is life through a 7-year-old (bold-type is me):

JACK ON FOOD:

WHAT ARE HAMBURGERS MADE OF?

“Hamburgers are made from cows”

What part of the cow?

“The meat part”

JACK ON THE UNIVERSE:

WHY DOES THE SUN RISE IN THE EAST AND SET IN THE WEST?

“Because Japan is West.  It’s sunny in Japan when it’s dark here.”

JACK ON ANIMALS:

WHAT DO CATS TASTE LIKE?

“Cat”

JACK ON WORLD TRAVEL:

IF YOU WERE WALKING THOUGH A JUNGLE AND A MONKEY JUMPED ON YOUR BACK AND STARTED HUMPING YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU LET HIM RIDE OR WHACK HIM OFF?

“Well where is he going?”

HE’S GOING WHERE YOU’RE GOING

“Dad, I really want a monkey.”

JACK ON GEOGRAPHY:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY?

“Is New York City a country?”   (we live in Utah)

NO, IT’S A STATE

“Then Utah”

WAIT, WHY DID YOU LIKE NEW YORK CITY?

“Who cares, it’s a state”

JACK ON MYTHICAL CREATURES:

IS BIGFOOT REAL?

“No”

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

“It’s just a dude dressed up as a monkey”

SO THERE’S A REAL GUY RUNNING AROUND DRESSED AS A MONKEY AND SCARING PEOPLE?

“Yes”

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

“He’s bored because he doesn’t have Netflix”

JACK ON MECHANICS:

WHY DO CARS NEED GAS?

“Because water would blow the engine”

HOW WOULD WATER BLOW THE ENGINE

“Can we blow up your car?”

JACK ON FLIGHT:

HOW DO PLANES FLY AND WHY CAN’T CARS?

“Planes have wings and cars have wheels and the wings give the plane the power to get into the air and that’s why cars can’t fly”

THAT’S RIGHT!

“You’re not a pilot”

JACK ON EDUCATION:

WHAT KIND OF JOBS CAN YOU HAVE IF YOU DON’T GO TO SCHOOL?

“You won’t have a job”

AND WHAT ELSE?

“You wouldn’t have a house, then you’d live outside and be a hobo”

WHERE DID YOU LEARN THE WORD “HOBO”?

“I saw one”

WHAT JOBS CAN YOU HAVE IF YOU DO GO TO SCHOOL?

“Anything you want, like your job, you could be a wrestler, or a space creature”

YOU MEAN A SPACE-MAN?

“No, I mean a space-creature”

HOW CAN YOU BE A SPACE CREATURE? IT’S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT BEING.

“Go to school and figure it out”  (followed by laughing at me).

Categories: EVERYTHING (in no particular order), Humor

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