It’s my firm belief that if armageddon were to hit and the world catch on fire, there would be a ridge of cat-silhouettes lining the ridges of the mountains…safely watching it transform into ash – at which point they’d eat our souls.

I was intending to write a true story about getting attacked by a gang of Capuchin monkeys (much to my son’s entertainment), but time doesn’t really allow today, so keep an eye out for that one.  Instead I bring you a short list of the second-biggest group of assholes in the animal kingdom – cats.

Cats are those things that used to cover their answers in high school so you couldn’t cheat.  They’re that thing behind the counter at convenience stores and movie theaters that i.d. you when you’re obviously old enough.  They also draw dicks on your face when you’re passed-out.  Cats are jerks, and here are five videos that prove it:

#5 – ANDY IS A JERK

He’s a jerk, but not too bad…I mean, he’s technically being baited into biting… but still, it’s not like biting his owner is really affecting him negatively.

#4 – BOBO’S DIRTY FEET

What makes me laugh about this video is that Bobo only wipes one paw…which means he didn’t really have to wipe them off…both of them were in the litter…he’s just doing it because he’s a cat and that’s what cats do -just enough to piss you off.

#3 – THE REPAIRMAN

This guy is just trying to get his crunch on.  Then out of nowhere the jerk knocks his tv over, doesn’t care, and when the guitar falls at the end of the domino effect, he doesn’t care again.  I mean, look at that cat at 0:04…there is obviously a commotion going on and he doesn’t give one – single – fuck.

#2 – SON OF A BITCH CAT

Only one of two things happened here:

1 – He found the other cat’s butthole interesting and wanted to touch it

2 – He wanted to push the other cat down the stairs to cause injury

….either way he’s a jerk.

#1 – TEDDY THE ASSHOLE CAT

…then he stares at you at yawns…as if to tell you to get off  your lazy can and pick it up…jerk.

~VIDEO THANKS

youtube.com users

vernontripple, Liz Kelly Nelson, Baby Bobo Bunny, funvidsin2010, Koskesh43

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Categories: "Top" lists, EVERYTHING (in no particular order), Humor

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