Sometimes you’ve had it with the man.  Maybe the courts move a little slower than you’d like, maybe you’ve been wronged through no fault of your own, or maybe you just hate people not obeying the rules (Bunnyman).  Regardless of the motivation, we’ve all had moments where the stress has overflowed and we had to have our moment of release to come back down to an even keel.  That’s fine and all, it’s just that some of us let loose in manners that the rest of us can only dream – here are 6 people who did just that.

#6 DAVE CARROL GOES PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE AGAINST UNITED AIRLINES

Dave Carroll had a $3,500 Taylor guitar.  He had one.  Now he has two – both given to him by Bob Taylor, owner of Taylor guitars.  Why did he give Dave two guitars?  It  more than likely had to do with the 3 songs that Dave Carroll released that dogged United Airlines for breaking his original guitar.

The skinny is that United airline baggage handlers were allegedly throwing guitars around like hot potatoes on the tarmac and when Dave got to his destination, he noticed that his guitar was more or less demolished.  He failed to file a report within the small 24-hour time-frame and thereby had to pretty much eat the cost of it.  United understandably didn’t really care because, well, United.

Frustrated with the runaround and no headway being made, the accomplished musician wrote the aptly named “United Breaks Guitars” that eventually made its way to #7 of the 2009 Top Ten Viral Videos list in Time Magazine.  He then followed-up with the cleverly named, “United Breaks Guitars: Song 2” and finished up his triad of frustration while apparently fulfilling his goal of becoming an SEO keyword specialist with a third song, “United Breaks Guitars: Song 3”.

United – as all corporations do when they’re getting blasted by youtube views – decided to take action and immediately wanted to resolve the problem.  Not because they felt bad or wanted to please their customers, but because they went viral in a negative way.

The good thing?  Dave got a lot of publicity, 3 pretty funny songs, two new Taylor guitars and the stock for United Airlines fell 10% after the release of his song, thereby costing the airline more than $180 million.  But in all fairness, it was a rocky year and all airlines fell a bit.  Although Dave’s antics had to have somewhat of an effect.

#5 THE BUNNYMAN HATES TRESPASSING

Nnnnnnnope.

The Bunnyman is misunderstood.  On one hand, he’s a guy that dresses up as a bunny and and tries to kill people with an axe for trespassing.  On the other hand, he could be a real bunny that does the same thing. Nobody knows. What is known is that he really really doesn’t like people trespassing.

On October 19, 1970 in Virginia, Bob Bennet and his girlfriend were sitting in their car more than likely playing a metaphoric game of baseball.  All of a sudden, one of the windows breaks causing Bob to speed off while a man in what looked like a bunny mask was yelling something at him about trespassing in his rearview mirror.  After they got away, Bob found an axe in his car, obviously dropped by the regulator.

Ten days after the initial Bunnyman incident, a security guard finds a guy sitting on the porch of an unfinished house.  When he’s spotted, the Bunnyman gets up, starts chopping at the house with a full-sized axe and yells about trespassing.

Say what you want about being a wives tale or urban legend, but at one point real trespassers had apparently driven  a real someone so batshit crazy that they dressed up like a rabbit and chopped stuff down with axes while screaming property-rights laws at them.

#4 DAVID CANNON THROWS A BANK’S BULLSHIT BACK AT THEM

Dave Cannon was a farmer in Newcastle.  At 66 years of age he became so frustrated with red tape through city hall and the mismanagement of his funds by his bank that he was nearing the nuclear-level of angry.  He eventually had to sell off his prized cows to settle his debts that he blamed on the bank.

Now at a stage of enlightenment that few of us have experienced, Dave threw poop all over the bank.  When I say “threw poop”, I mean that he did it in a way that is glorious.  If this quote from the bank manager doesn’t help,

There was a large deposit of manure sprayed up the walls to considerable height and lying in a heap outside the door

Or this account of how long the clean-up took,

Two weeks

Then the video is the only thing that will do the project justice:

#3 BARRY SWEGLE BULLDOZES NEIGHBOR

Sometimes you come across a story that is complicated to the point that it’s very simple.  This is one of those times.  Apparently Barry Swegle and his neighbor got in an argument and it escalated to the point of Barry getting in a bulldozer and running through all of his neighbors’ houses.  This was forecasted by one of his neighbor’s quotes:

We all said one of these days Barry is going to take that dang cat and he’s going to start tearing up people’s property, and that’s what he did

…AND he did:

#2 CHILD MOLESTER GETS ADVERTISEMENT ON HIS FOREHEAD

Child molesters are about as bad as you can get. Many people believe that they deserve the worst that the judicial system has to offer and many times, that isn’t even enough.  Rest assured though, a child molester’s hierarchy in prison is near the bottom, which makes this story even sweeter.

Anthony Ray Stockelman plead guilty to the 2005 abduction, drowning, and molestation of 10-year-old Katlyn Collman.  Naturally he went to prison for these crimes and as a child molester, he was on the bottom of the food chain.  Where it differs from the normal is that someone must have wanted to make certain that Anthony got his due service so they took his status one step further and ensured that he would go through the rest of his life -however short- worrying about his safety by tattooing his forehead with the words, “Katie’s Revenge”.

While most of the entries on this list involve the subject going overboard and taking matters into their own hands, this one deserves an entry for the person that did this to Stockelman.  It’s extremely hard to find any sympathy for a child molester.

#1 MARVIN HEEMEYER’S KILLDOZER

Yea…another bulldozer, the lose-your-shit-weapon-of-choice. Marvin had bought roughly 2 acres of land in 1992 for around $40,000.  Shortly thereafter he opened a muffler shop on his property then agreed to sell a portion of the land to a concrete company for $250,000 – a hefty profit.  One of the members of the family that was involved in the concrete deal said that Heemeyer then retracted on the deal asking for more money for the land.

After some back and forth, the city decided to re-zone and approve the concrete plant anyway.  This meant that not only did Heemeyer miss out on the money, but the plant zoning blocked the access to his muffler shop, which in turn took away his livelihood.   It should also be mentioned that Heemeyer had a dozer that he had bought before this all went down.  He bought it with the intention to build an alternate route to his muffler shop –  which the city denied him zoning for.  Essentially they build a giant concrete factory on his road then told him a very strict “no” when he asked to build another access point to his shop.

After some appeals by Heemeyer wondering how in the hell he was supposed to run his shop or get access to it, he soon found himself in about $2,500 worth of fines for having junked up cars on his own property and his shop – which the city denied access to – not being attached to the public sewer line.  Fed up, he took his welding skills and went to work.

Over the next 1.5 years, Heemeyer armored the dozer and cocooned it in steel sheets up to a foot-thick in some areas with concrete sandwiched between the sheets which made an extremely effective armor.  Some people even saw the dozer in the works and thought nothing of it, which is exactly the reaction you should expect when armoring-out a bulldozer.

Heemeyer covered the cab, the engine and vulnerable areas of the tracks in his armor.  To see outside his killdozer,  he threw up a couple of CCTV cameras on the outside that ran to internal monitors.  He had gun ports for his .22, .308 and 50-caliber rifles and air-conditioning to keep him cool in the midst of his planned rampage.

On June 4th, 2004, Heemeyer drove through his shop’s wall, through the concrete factory and up the road until he reached the town hall, a newspaper office that wrote bad things about him, a judge’s house and a hardware store owned by a man who had been named in another lawsuit.  He drove through all of that shit…for two-and-a-half-hours.

Heemeyer was stopped when he committed suicide after the killdozer got hung up on the edge of a building, effectively causing the only death in the  rampage…which should tell you a little about Heemeyer – he wasn’t out to hurt people, he was just a guy pushed too far and basically went all Mad-Max on innocent buildings that probably needed re-zoned anyway judging from the city’s habits.  He even gave a foreshadow in notes found by investigators where he himself said:

Sometimes reasonable men have to do unreasonable things

All images used with appropriate permissions or through section 107 of the US copyright law, “fair use” in this case for the purpose of education and/or critique

Categories: "Top" lists, EVERYTHING (in no particular order)

Tags: 3d modeling, armored, bob taylor, bulldoze neighbors, bulldozer tank, bunnyman, city hall, daz3d, delta, farm equipment, forehead tattoo, guitar, guy throws, heemeyer, killdozer, poop, prison, prison heirarchy, rampage, shit, trespassing killer, united